Holly and I just got home from a wonderful vacation. We spent much of our week away laying by a pool or by the beach, getting up only to indulge my appetite at the all-you-can eat buffet. We read a ton and engaged in conversations both meaningful and wasteful.
But a funny thing happened to me when I got home. Actually, it started while our plane was crawling toward our gate in the snow. I pushed the sync button on my smart phone, downloading all the emails that had gone unread while I was working on my tan. And here’s the strange part: in spite of the overwhelming rush of work and obligation flooding my rested mind, I liked it. I even announced how many emails I had. Sure, it was veiled in a sort of, “Oh brother, look at all the work waiting for me” groan, but my real intent was closer to, “Man, I am so busy and important.”
Once home, I jumped headfirst into two marathon days of work. Even now, I’m tempted to tell you just how manic it was. My mother-in-law, who was in town to watch our kids while we were on vacation remarked that she hoped I would have time to slow down. I liked that she noticed how busy I was. It made me feel like it was obvious how much I was contributing to the church, how valuable I was.
All this confirmed a thought that had been rolling in my mind for the last month or so. It’s what I will call the Myth of More. The Myth of More is the belief that the secret to a meaningful life is more. More activity, more friendships, more stuff—more. We believe that the way to add meaning to our lives is to add programs, appointments, cars, homes, and hobbies.
But it’s simply not true. So, here is my attempt to challenge our subconscious acceptance of this myth. This will be a three-part blog series on three areas we think “more” equals “meaningful”, and some thoughts on how to counter it.
The first manifestation of the Myth of More is the Myth of More Activity. Deep down, we believe that the way to be a better friend, better spouse, or a better follower of God is more activity. Think of all the resolutions made every year. Every area of our lives that we try to bring improvement to, we plan more activities for. If we feel our relationship with God needs work, we sign up for another small group. If we recognize we aren’t doing anything for the community, we schedule in time to volunteer at the soup kitchen.
Parents are notorious for signing their kids up for more programs and sports teams than a 5–year old can handle. Soccer, ballet, French, and swimming…and that’s before Vacation Bible School. We think the way to give our children a meaningful life is to give them more activities. If they do more, they will enjoy life more. Why shouldn’t we do that for our kids? It’s how we manage our own lives.
But the secret to a meaningful life is not to fill our calendars with play dates and book clubs. Life’s substance is not found in how much we do, but in how present we are in each moment.
“Being present” is a phrase my friends, Aaron and Jossie Stern, have used a lot to describe what they appreciated about the friends who walked with them through a very difficult tragedy. They talked about the people who stopped the carousel of their busy lives to sit with them—since their own world had come to a screeching halt. Being present means listening to your spouse, hearing your friends. It means noticing your children, memorizing their smile. Being present is seeing the Rocky Mountains outside my window, feeling the crisp, cool Colorado air, and tasting each bite of food. Being present means stopping to listen to God and not just badgering Him with requests. It means looking the one we are serving in the eye, hearing their story, and feeling their pain.
The Myth of More tells us to fill our schedules and check off To-Do Lists. The Bible hints at a different path. Here are some clues:
- Stop for Sabbath
There’s a whole blog to be written on what I am learning about this. For now, it is sufficient to say that there is something powerful that happens when we stop our activity and cease from all that is necessary. It reminds us that our primary role is not our work. It helps us know that we are not defined by what we do or how much we do. We belong to God. All production, effectiveness, and creativity comes from Him. And because He stopped, we stop to remember Him and to remember that we are his.
- Narrow Your Focus
When we stop, we start to see what things are truly the important ones. Like the old axiom goes, “If everything is important, nothing is important.” Eliminating things from our life is the best way to convey how important the things we choose to do really are. The apostles in the Book of Acts recognized that they could not attend to all the needs of the widows and still be able to devote themselves to the Word of God and prayer. So deacons were appointed. To do what we must do well, we must let go of some other activities.
- Find God at Every Turn
In the end, it’s not that Bible studies or community service are detrimental activities. But simply doing them does not guarantee the benefit. If a church group or outreach activity is just the next appointment in our week or another thing to strike off the list, we will find ourselves busier, but just as empty. God promises to direct our paths as we trust Him with all our heart and “acknowledge Him in all our ways.” To “acknowledge God in all our ways” means to know Him—quite intimately, as the original Hebrew implies—at every turn. To me, that means to find God in the pages of Scripture and in the course of our day; it means to see Him in the faces of the ones we love and the ones we serve. What makes an activity meaningful is the presence of God in it—or more accurately, our ability to recognize God in it. When we move through life at warp speed, we can barely smell the roses, let alone sense God’s presence. When we slow down and become fully present in the moments of our life, we find God present there as well. And our path becomes directed by Him.
In short, we counter the Myth of More Activity by learning to stop, do less, and see God.
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